Day 3 of my journey and I’m no closer to figuring out what my dream is but I know I’m doing the actions that will help me discover what it is.
As a young girl I had a dream to become a makeup artist to the stars. That was a BIG dream! Living in a tiny, tiny village made that dream feel so out of reach; I kept this dream to myself.
I remember in Middle School (it’s called Junior High where I grew up) I would wear makeup every day. My makeup routine consisted of blue eyeshadow on the lower lids with pink on the uppers blending into a shade of purple in the creases. Oh, I was so cool. The joys of youth.
I wore makeup because it was fun and because it brought me joy. I started getting compliments (maybe not on the blue LOL) and then I started doing my sister and her friend’s makeup before school dances.
Then something shifted.
People started to look at me differently. It wasn’t necessarily a good or bad different, just different. The outside world perceived me differently when I wore makeup, they made judgements and had preconceived notions of who I was and what type of person I was. The outside world no longer saw me authentically and my identity of who I was started to change.
For many years I stopped wearing makeup and my dream vanished into oblivion.
Do I still dream of being a hot-shot makeup artist for celebrities in Hollywood? No. Emphatically, definitely no. Hard stop.
Have I started wearing makeup again? Not consistently but I do wear it.
Do I still feel differently when I wear it? Yes, but now I understand the difference. I wear makeup to feel empowered; I wear makeup when I want the the world to see me differently. And maybe the difference they see is my own perception but I’m ok with that. A little self-love is okay as I continue to figure out what the dream for my life is.
Dream big, the universe conspires to give you what you want!